Description:
Warrior Philosophy, Women's Kick Boxing, Mental Training
Contents:
KEEPING THE SOUL WHOLE
"In school they tried to tell me man doesn't have a soul,
"What happened to his," I say "Cause mine is still whole!"
- Spearhead
Keeping your soul intact isn't always easy. I'm not taking about the going-to-church, lighting-candles kind of soul, necessarily, but rather about maintaining the thing inside you that keeps in touch with the humanity of others.
Whatever you're doing, whether it's sparring, working, or some other kind of semi-competitive activity, it's important to cultivate the part of yourself that sees other people as people. Don't let the desire to dominate push you to bulldozer those around you!
This might sound trite or self-evident, but it's not always. For example, anyone who's sparred regularly will relate to the experience of squaring off against someone you really don't want to "lose" to. Perhaps you're in the ring for the first time with a beginner who's tense and swinging hard. Perhaps you're the beginner, trying to prove yourself to your trainer.
Either way, there comes a moment when the "person" in front of you becomes a target, rather than another human being. Your desire to dominate in a particular situation gets pitted against the basic recognition of someone else's integrity. Whether this translates into swinging wildly or else hitting the beginner in front of you too hard, it's a habit you want to keep in check if you want to preserve your humanity- your soul.
In work, this tension - between dominating/getting what you want and perceiving the humanity of the person in front of you - exists as well. Be it an employee, or a manager, it's also best to maintain a sense of the person's integrity and intentions.
Basically, this comes down to not seeing other human beings as means to ends, but rather as fully formed creatures whose worth is similar to yours. This distinction is especially important where there are differences of relative power (for example in when an expert spars with a beginner, or a sales person meets a vulnerable customer).
How does one go about cultivating this vision?
Simply, by not getting too wrapped up in the pursuit of a goal. When going into a situation where your objective might place you at odds with respect of the individual in front of you, make sure you spend a bit of time thinking of them as a whole person. You might want to ask yourself: "What's more important - "winning" this interaction or maintaining my soul?"
You can try to interact with them before and after the "situation". This'll put you in touch with their experience. Also check your own behavior. If you notice yourself grabbing in an aggressive way or forcing, stop what you're doing for a second. Insert a minute of reflection. This will often be enough to bring your soul back, giving it the strength to counteract the part of you that wants to dominate.
You might want to try also listening to Spearhead. Michal Franti, the lead singer, expresses this really well!
http://www.getalyric.com/mp3/lyrics/songs/spearhead-3179/home-10424/of_course_you_can-57475/
WANT TO GET OVER A CRUSH ? GO FOR NO !!
I had a good friend ask me a question the other day. Over lunch, she told me she had something she wanted advice on. Then, all starry-eyed she launched a 10-minute descriptive essay telling me about her latest guy-crush and trying to psycho-analyze the minutia of their interactions. As an afterthought almost, she concluded with:
"But he doesn't like me anyway, so what can I do to get over him?"
Hmmm... Why spend 10 minutes describing a situation (opportunity?) with which she was obviously very engaged, only to dismiss it outright without first determining how to convert it into the outcome she wants?
She was ignoring one of Hsun Tsu's rules - Never assume defeat.
But how to deal then, by extension (and this was her real worry I think), with an ambiguous situation?
"Go for no!" I told her.
The "Go for No" principle means that unless you are prepared to fail, your success will have a low ceiling. Unless you take risks to get what you want, you'll have to be content with just what life gives you - and hey, you can do a lot better!
For example, if you let one guy you like go by without trying clearly and unambiguously to get his attention, some day there will be another boy you like and another. And if you never get in the habit of going for what you want, you'll get stuck with whoever's left, or with whoever picks you. Not that lovely men sometimes aren't interested, but destiny always works better if you help it along a bit! It also tends to work faster this way!
So - how can you go for no?
Do something unambiguous.
With the dance we do in the preliminary stages of interest, we often get so preoccupied with "signals" and psychoanalysis that we forget to send up simple, good old fashioned unambiguous red flags. If you're at the awkward conversation stage, just ask him to do something alone with you, like drinks or a movie. If you're already friends, you'll need to do something more drastic and physical, like lean in for a kiss or sidle up to him at a party.
It might seem hard, but what's 5 minutes of awkwardness compared with months of a "not relationship" in which you aimlessly pine for someone you're not even dating? Go for no!
Whatever you do, make sure you get to a definite negative response. If the answer is yes, then so much the better for you ! If the answer is no, then at least you've been rejected fair and square.
From a straight-up rejection, moving on happens on its own.
It's much easier to get on with your life when you're faced with a non-negotiable certainty.
If you get to "no", well then pick yourself up and move on to something else. Either get out into the community and try to meet other suitable men, or focus on something else in your life. If you've got a passion, throw yourself into that. Friends are also a great resource.
I think, however, that the "getting over it" is really about getting a definite answer. Once you "know", the moving on will happen by itself!
So don't spend too much time agonizing and dissecting hard-to-interpret social situations. Just go for no! It's the first step to proper success.
BOOK REVIEW : Chetan Bhagat - ONE NIGHT @ THE CALL CENTER
If God called you on the phone, what would you have to say for yourself?
This is the premise of Chetan Bhagat's One Night @ the Call Center. Describing the trials and tribulations of one shift in New Delhi's many IT call centers, the book catalogues the main character's fall into adulthood. The hero is a young not-so-confident Indian middle-class boy. Struggling for a better career and to win back the lady he loves, Bhagat's book describes a few stops along the hard and long road to believing in yourself.
All this is set against the alien (for North Americans!) backdrop of New Delhi's new middle-class struggle. Crazy drivers, drinks that cost a weeks' salary, and the joys of a family trying to arrange a marriage are all part of the picture. Bhagat is one of India's best-selling authors at the moment, and it's worth picking this up just to see what the world's biggest English-language market is reading.
That being said, the book itself has a good deal to say, especially about the quest for confidence and life-direction. Each of the characters in the book is actually on such a quest. Priyanka, the protagonist's girlfriend is struggling to make her parents happy through an arranged marriage. Another minor female character struggles with her desire to model.
And then, BAM ! - right in the middle of everyone's little drama, God calls. And this is where things really get interesting...
Ask yourself - if God called you, what would you have to say about your hopes and fears?
CROSSFIT - REVIEW
THE QUICK AND NOT SO EASY WAY TO BETTER CARDIO AND MUSCLE STAMINA
Need to get in shape fast for an up-coming fight or just looking to increase your martial arts performance? You might want to try Cross Fit training. Invented in the United States, this training method has become popular in the last few years. It is, in fact, a refined version of circuit training, which combines high-repetition weight training with cardio exercises. Many high performance athletes rely on this method to attain peak performance in preparing for an event.
What’s Cross Fit like?
In your average Cross Fit gym you will find simple training equipment like sit-up mats, kettle balls, chin-up bars, medicine balls and the like. You’ll most likely end up running stairs or around the exercise area in between sets of repetitions. The goal is to get you building explosive power, and endurance through a mixture of different exercises.
To encourage you through what might otherwise be a bit boring (honestly – how
interesting can 200 push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups, and squats be?), a trainer is there to supervise. He or she monitors your performance, encourages you, but also notes down your times or the number of repetitions you’ve been able to do. This allows the more competitive people in the room to compare scores. It also allows you to gage past performance and compare yourself to the gym-rats personal bests that are posted up on the numerous white-boards around the place.
If you do it right, the workout is really tough. Be careful the first time. (On my first trial session, I saw a new guy run to the bathroom for a fit of bulimia). Drink beforehand, but don’t eat! And try to at least walk or stretch out afterwards. You risk SERIOUS stiffness for two days after if you don’t.
I’d recommend this type of training to anyone who’s looking to build cardio or muscle strength and endurance. If you’re preparing for a fight or just looking to get better at your sport, you might want to give this a try!
Oh! And I almost forgot one of the best parts – the work-outs are really short: a class is over in one hour. How often can you get dead tired in just one hour? That in itself is reason enough to try this out!
Happy training!
Terrie
GYM REVIEW - KNOCK-OUT GYM MONTREAL
Open for about the past year, Knock-Out Gym offers various martial arts classes at pretty reasonable prices. A three-month membership will run you about 150$. Their facilities are top-notch: boxing ring, weight training machines, spotless locker-rooms and tatamis that are clean, new and well-maintained.
Kick-boxing and Muay Thai classes are available three days a week and are relatively empty (read: great opportunity for individual attention). There's no competition team yet in either kick-boxing or Muay Thai, although the boxing team is up, alive and kicking.
The gym hosts galas every few months, and a couple of female competitors (in boxing) have been spotted.
The Muay Thai trainer hopes to get a few competitors participating at galas by the new year.
To sum up, this gym is a very agreeable place to train, although if you're looking to compete in Thai or Kick-boxing, the place needs still to develop a bit!
CHOOSING THE PERFECT GYM
How to find that elusive marriage made in heaven...
Just finished unpacking from a transcontinental move or looking for an upgrade in training? Even if you’re simply in the market for a fresh place to beat up the heavy bag, choosing a new gym can tough stuff.
There are lots of things to consider when you hand over hard earner dollars in exchange for sweat. To top it off, many places push you to sign up for months-long memberships after just one trial class. This is precious little time get the lay of the land.
How do you want to assess the ecology of a gym, from coaches, to schedules, to potentially cool or disastrous other members in just 1.5 hours? The following check-list will give you an idea of what to look for…
1) Do I know my training goals?
Your objectives dictate which gym is right for you. If you’re primarily interested in fitness – not competition – you’ll need a place with friendly, motivating instructors who’ll coax you through those painful last few reps. Classes set to music are fun, and a relaxed environment is important. Look for girls in yoga pants – they’re a good sign of this type of place.
If you want to start out as a fighter, make sure the gym houses a competition team and has a policy of promoting new talent. Be very, very sure the head coach knows something about booking fights (you don’t want your debut to be against Big Bertha who just retired from professional boxing)! You’ll want to know, also, whether the competition team is open to new members. Some gyms maintain a closed circle among fighters, which is hard to penetrate, especially if no other women compete. A little relaxed conversation with one or two of the fighters should yield some answers.
Got a few fights under your belt? In this case, you likely know what will work for you in training. You’ll want to focus on the connection with the coach (does he or she seem interested in you?), on the rapport with the other competitors (do they make eye contact?) and on the gym’s reputation for placing fighters at good events (do they send people to regional, national or international events?).
2) What will my play-mates be like?
If you weigh 120 lbs you can’t train like someone who weighs 200 lbs. For female fighters, it’s super important to train in an environment open to students of different weights and sizes. If on the first day you find yourself in the ring with a 200 lb beginner and he’s swinging like it’s a barroom brawl, something may be wrong.
Because women fighters are often smaller, lighter and have smaller biceps, it’s important that the guys you spar with be experienced and/or intelligent enough to work with you. The trainer should establish ground rules when it comes to hitting, so observe how he contains sparring.
Again, other women are a good sign when assessing the overall brutishness of a gym. Be on the lookout for bloody noses and disorganized or unsupervised sparring. Coaches who get in the ring or on the mats with a macho attitude or wanting to “teach students a lesson” are also a red flag.
When you’re 60 lbs lighter than everyone else, a brutish environment is NOT conducive to learning and progress. It is, on the other hand, a good way to get injuries, headaches and serious frustration. Don’t let mean playmates put you off training altogether!
3) Geography and time zone
Two other things to recon with are distance from home and schedule. If you want to train during lunch time, the 8 to 10pm class isn’t going to do you much good. These issues might seem small at the outset, but if your goal is to be in the gym multiple times a week, the 45-minute trek across town in traffic will eventually interfere!
4) Still not sure?
Don’t be shy to chat with the coaches about your objectives – but beware of the sales pitch! While competition-oriented gyms are usually clear that the fitness clientele isn’t welcome, small gyms or inexperienced coaches frequently try to pull in new talent by sounding important. Check coaches’ credentials and track records of booking fights. Other women training at the gym are also a great resource!
If all else fails, spend some time online. Forums for your area will list gyms and have valuable testimonials. The net is also a good place to check out a trainer’s reputation. If you’re looking for a place that promotes its competitors, then the gym’s name should appear on online fight cards. You can also check how much their fighters travel.
5) One final word –
Whatever you do, don’t take a yearly subscription up front! When trying out a new place, rather start out with a 1-month or, at most, a 3-month membership. Personality flaws aren’t always visible on the first date and gyms are no different. Don’t sign up for a 1-year relationship before you know if the other person picks their nose at dinner!
COMING BACK - Some tips on getting back to training after a break
Going from this...
to this...
Training after a long break can be a challenge. Physiologically, cardio abilty starts to slip after as little as a week and begins to drop off seriously after two. Muscle- and flexibility loss takes places after maybe three weeks. Of course, if you're sparring, your timing will begin suffer also after a month.
Be prepared for wobbly legs, non-existant cardio and shot flexibility. These symptoms are normal. Along with muscle stiffness the day after!
Here are some tips for how to handle the transition with the least pain possible...
DO take it easy the first few times back in the gym. Especially in the first training session back "on the job" just go through the movements, and get back to "feeling" what your body knows how to do. You can build up to your previous levels of cardio, speed and techniques later. The first class back is just about getting the engine moving again.
DON'T stretch too much, drink too little, or go back for a second training session too early. Give your body time to recover. You've just begun to shock it back into shape. Be gentle with yourself and don't risk getting hurt. An injury just means more time on the couch!
DO be patient. It might seem at first like you've lost ground, but your automatisms have actually softened during your time off. If you can remember some of your bad habits, this is a good time to work on them. This is perhaps one of the main opportunities you gain when executing a come-back.
DON'T go in for a long sparring session without training your eye and timing first. You need to do some structured exercises on the pads or with a partner to get yourself seeing openings and punches or kicks coming your way. Otherwise you risk getting a bump on the nose and some serious frustration.
DO let your coach know you've been off for a while and want to take it easy. There's no point having him yell at you for being lazy.
And, finally, DON'T get discouraged or start saying "I'm too old for this". The body takes about 2 weeks to begin to feel comfortable again with training and probably about a month to get into actual fightin' shape again.
Happy coming back !
THINKING LIKE A WOMAN-FIGHTER
Written by Martin Morris, reprinted from Wfighter.com
What separates the people that spend their lives working toward a goal while others work to live an average life. The way a person thinks will determine where an individual is today and where they will be tomorrow. As a fighter, you have to continually think about what you are thinking about. You want to make sure you are doing things that get you closer to a goal. What separates the people that spend their lives working toward a goal while others work to live an average life. The way a person thinks will determine where an individual is today and where they will be tomorrow. As a fighter, you have to continually think about what you are thinking about. You want to make sure you are doing things that get you closer to a goal. The most precious gift you have is your mind and what you put in it can make you strong or weak. You can’t afford to associate with people that are not encouraging you to be better than you are, telling you to settle for less in life, or over indulging in pleasure to accept not working toward higher goals
With the recent appointment of a woman to the Supreme Court, the political influence of women in this country has just increased. With the increasing influence of women in political power, they will want to see women be successful in other professions. Therefore, they will want to see women fighting sports be successful, so they have an inspiration for them to get their motivation to do their jobs well. To make this sport attractive to the women leaders, you must think big and do the things necessary to keep your moving along. I believe by investing in yourself, analyzing you current situation, working through crisis, and continuing to grow that you can keep you career and personal life on the right course.
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