Shaniya Davis: A Child Like Mine
This past weekend I went to see the movie, Precious, with my mother who was visiting from Chicago. As soon as I got home I hugged my daughter for nearly five minutes and almost trembled holding back the tears as scenes from the movie flashed in my head. I would've done the same with my son, but now that he's a teenager he doesn't allow me into his "bubble" unless I tackle him.
In Precious' face I saw my own child. What made the movie so difficult for me is that I know from my own work with teens at risk that this fiction tale is not fiction at all for thousands of nameless, faceless, abused, tortured children with no one to love or defend them from the monsters in their lives.
Shaniya Davis, unfortunately, is the real name of one of these real children.
Shaniya Davis was found dead Monday, nearly a week after mother Antoinette Davis reported her missing. Police say Davis is charged with human trafficking and felony child abuse, allegedly for selling Shaniya into sex slavery.
Police also charged Mario McNeill with kidnapping after he was captured on a hotel's surveillance video carrying Shaniya. McNeill's lawyer has said his client will plead not guilty.
Police say an autopsy is being conducted to determine how Shaniya died.
The father of a 5-year-old girl whose body was found off a rural North Carolina road regrets giving the girl's mother a chance to raise their daughter, even though she seemed to be getting her life together.
The girl's father, Bradley Lockhart, said he had a one-night stand with Antoinette Davis and mostly brought up their daughter before letting Davis take care of her. A month later, Shaniya Davis was dead, her body dumped off a rural road and her mother accused of selling her for sex.
Reporting as per the Associated Press.
I spent a good portion of yesterday afternoon distraught over this. Particularly because this little girl is almost a duplicate version of my own save the difference of a little more than a year in ages. Beyond the stark similarities, in this child's eyes I see all children. The mother is alleged to have done this for drugs. DRUGS! And she somehow thought that she was going to get her child back after pimping her out.
Shaniya Davis was FIVE YEARS OLD! I cannot imagine the fear that ripped through this child after living a happy and safe life, only to have it turned upside down over the course of a month...by her mother.
I don't wish ill will on many people, but I hope Hell has a very hot suite for all parties involved in this abomination. I actually hope they are released into the general population of whatever prisons they are ultimately sentenced to serve time in. I hope a corrections officer looks the other way for free on this one.
May God be with Shaniya Davis and may she rest in peace after her five short years on this Earth. My heart and prayers are with her father as well who is waking up everyday into a nightmare from which he cannot escape.
That kid you see acting a fool when you're out with your family might be a child who is suffering at home. It's too easy to dismiss the problems of others as "that's someone else's problem." That question we often ask, "Well, where are the parents?" might be the same thing that kid is wondering. Where we can we need to help our children. Because as adults we have the power to cast a wide net, via the Internet, via the workplace, via church, via school, via government. We need to love, equip and empower them with all that we have as best we can so that they have the knowledge and tools to grow up to be adults who, God willing, won't travel the path that this poor girl's mother is alleged to have traveled.
I am a firm believer in the fact that it takes a community --- parents, teachers, extended relatives, church, mentors, etc. --- to contribute to the totality of the rearing of children. This includes those kids and sometimes parents who don't have the luxury of having all of the above at their disposal. That's why I love The Children's Village.
Founded in 1851 and located just outside of New York City in the Hudson River town of Dobbs Ferry, the mission of the Children's Village is to work in partnership with families to help society’s most vulnerable children so that they become educationally proficient, economically productive, and socially responsible members of their communities.*
Their values fall into the following three core beliefs...
First, all children and youth need connections to adults, preferably family members, who believe in them and will remain connected throughout their lives.
Second, education, appropriate social behavior, and job skills are essential to functioning independently in society.
And third, every human being has strengths and the desire to make his or her life happy and fulfilling; with support and the tools to overcome obstacles, most can and will succeed.*
During 2007-2008 Youth and Families were served in the following ways:
Residential School - 457 Youth
Day School - 123 Youth
Family Preservation Services - 2,145 Families
Shelters & Short-term Residential - 647 Youth
Foster homes- 325 Youth
Supported Community Living – 128 Youth
Crisis Residence – 206 Youth
Work Appreciation for Youth & Aftercare- 267 Youth
Community Outreach to Youth- 4,032 (does not include 792 hotline calls)
And it's not a one-way street. The kids have the opportunity to enter programs such as the Assistance Dog Training Program where they train special service dogs to help children, adults and veterans with physical handicaps. For more information, please visit www.childrensvillage.org.
I cannot tell you how much I believe in the aims, goals and outcomes of this organization. Over the years and as recently as last month, I've donated money, clothes, toys, sports equipment and furniture to assist in their efforts to empower the young men and women of the Children's Village.
No one is oblivious to what is going on with the US Economy. If we're affected just imagine how much the disenfranchised are. I would like to put the power of the Internet and this blog to work for the residents of the Village by pledging a $3,000 donation to assist in their holiday efforts this year. In the right hand column of this blog you'll see the section entitled "Make a Donation To the Chidlren's Village" just beneath the social networking icons or you can visit my fundraising page for the Children's Village directly. It is a 100% tax-deductible, totally safe and secure process (VeriSign) that will allow you to use a major credit/debit card. If all you have to donate is one dollar, that's better than nothing at all (if 3,000 people donated a dollar then the goal will be met).
$35 pays for a teenager to go skiing. $150 will allow staff to take 10 of the younger children snow tubing. $200 pays for a whole cottage to go to the movies or go bowling. $400 pays for a two-day winter camping trip for 8 boys. $500 will allow 10 kids to go to a Knicks game or see a holiday show.
You can also help by putting the power of social networking behind this effort by sharing, emailing, Tweeting, Facebooking this post as many times as possible to get the word out.
As always, thanks so much for reading and please, lend some financial assistance to the Children's Village. You can visit the Children's Village website to learn more about this amazing non-profit organization.
Testing The Ice: Book Review & Giveaway In the early 1950s, legendary baseball hero Jackie Robinson literally “tested the ice” for his kids who so eagerly wanted to skate on the frozen lake near their home. Testing the Ice is a stunning metaphor for Robinson’s remarkable racial breakthrough.
This book review is based on a promotional copy provided to me thanks to Scholastic. I was immediately drawn in by Kadir Nelson's compelling illustrations and found myself imagining the rural descriptions contained in the book. Through this storybook I was able to relive moments of Jackie Robinson's life and piece together tidbits and anecdotes I've been told over the years by people who personally crossed paths with this sports pioneer. As my sports-enthusiast son is in high school I had the less than enviable task of testing the book out of my princess, fairy, Dora and Diego loving daughter. Although at the age of three, she wasn't able to grasp the full content of the story but she sat attentive as I read to her and waiting eagerly for me to turn each page to see what picture was coming next. By story's end she understood the overarching theme of not being afraid to do things that need to be done.
The Giveaway:
In conjunction with Big Honcho Media, Makes Me Wanna Holler will be giving away four (4) beautiful hardcover copies of Testing The Ice. This is just in time for the holidays and will make a great gift for a young one who loves to read.
Entries can be one or all of the following:
Leave a comment about why you would like a copy of Testing The Ice for your child(ren). (This doesn't have to be long and drawn out. The simpler, the better.)
Leave a comment about your love of baseball or Jackie Robinson or a Jackie Robinson anecdote.
Tweet about this contest and include my handle, @MakesMeHoller, in your tweet (please leave a comment here to let me know you've tweeted).
You can do any or all of the above as many times as you like. And of course I'm always open to you, my loyal readers, spreading the word about Makes Me Wanna Holler (but this isn't a requirement for this giveaway).
This contest will begins today Friday, November 13, 2009 at the time of this posting, 12:15 p.m. (EST) and ends at 12:15 a.m. on Friday, November 20, 2009. You must be either: a US citizen or have a US mailing address to enter. No purchase necessary to enter.
Father In Focus: Lamar Tyler This is a Dad I've been itching to feature. Because he's a particularly busy man I had to be patient as I waited for him to have the time to be interviewed. His name is Lamar Tyler he is the co-creator of Black And Married With Kids and Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage. He and his wife, Ronnie, have been instrumental in utilizing the Internet and social media to promote the very obvious fact that there are good African American men out there who are wonderful fathers and husbands. The Facebook fan site for his recently released documentary, Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, currently has 22,700 fans and is expanding at an exponential rate. If that isn't a testament to fact that better manhood, fatherhood and husbandry isn't (and always has been) alive and well in communities of color, I don't know what is.
Where do you live? LT: DC Area
What's your occupation? LT: IT Manager for a Broadcast Television Station
How many children do you have, how long have you been married? LT: 4 Kids 4 Years
When did you start blogging and what inspires you to blog? LT: December 2007. The desire to challenge stereotypes about marriage and parenting in the black community.
What does being a dad mean to you? How does being a man of color impact this? LT: Being a dad means being the one the entire family leans on. Being the backbone of the family and setting the vision for my wife, my children and myself to share. Being a dad of color means I have to ensure that my children understand that anything is possible regardless of how they see their culture portrayed around them.
What has been one of your most memorable moments as a father? As a husband? LT: Definitely the birth of my children on the larger scale and that was memorable from both the standpoints of a husband and a father. On a smaller more regular basis coming home to a loving family that bum rushes you at the door is memorable even though it happens every night.
What advice/recommendation would you give to someone about to become a father and/or husband? LT: Be responsible, take the approach that if not you then who? You are the final stop gap for your family and that responsibility weighs on your shoulders. Also the relationship that you have with your wife and directly with your children will directly shape how your little boys or little girls relate to their spouses and children years from now.
If you could accomplish anything through your blogging, what would that be? LT: Generating more awareness of the balance that exists within the black community instead of just the negative that's always portrayed. Also making it known that marriage is a possibility to those who live in communities where they may not see successful marriages on a daily basis. That is the total goal of Blackandmarriedwithkids.com and the Happily Ever After documentary.
Good (Girls') Hair Last week I was interviewed by Kimberly Allers, the dynamic, Mommy Lifestyler behind the Mocha Manual bestselling book series and its companion website. She wanted to know if and how I did my daughter's (pictured left) hair. They also got the thoughts of my good buddy, MochaDad, on the subject. Just in case you didn't catch it over there, I brought the full interview over here to Makes Me Wanna Holler for your reading pleasure...
Daddy Talk: Doing My Daughter’s Hair
My wasband can't seem to get it right. We wondered how other dads were faring in doing their daughter's hair. The answers were tangled and knotted!
