I was reading Parent Hacks today, and found a great post on how to keep your kids entertained this winter without spending money. The idea presented was to make your own bowling set.

Here’s how: take empty juice or water bottles, and fill them partially full with uncooked beans (ultra cheap!). Just fill them up to about 1/3 full, enough to weight down the bottom. Use any decent-sized ball (such as a foam Nerf soccer ball) to knock over the pins.

We have one of those toy bowling sets at home, with 10 colorful pins and 2 black plastic bowling balls. It probably cost $20 at Toys’R'Us. I don’t really remember. But come on … how hard is it to take a bunch of empty water bottles and partially fill it with beans (or rice, or rocks, or sand). Parent Hacks says to tape the lids on. I say GLUE the lids on so your kids don’t pour out beans on your carpet.

Now you have a toy that is cheap and reliable. Kids LOVE playing with these types of homemade toys, and they really don’t notice that it didn’t come from a store.

If you are dealing with the terrible twos, make sure you check out my audio course for parents, and get the free lesson.

This post is more personal, and not so much about parenting.  But since this is supposed to be a parenting blog, the topic fits into the category of setting a good example for your kids to follow.

I have established a short term goal of losing 7 pounds of body fat.

Let me give you some background here.  I’m not overweight, and most people who hear this goal tell me I don’t “need” to lose any weight.  I am 5 foot 10 inches tall, and when I step on the scale it says 167 lbs.  I fit into pants with a 32″ waist (but they are more snug now).  I’m much more active and fit than the average 35 year old male.

But I definitely don’t have the physique that I used to even 5 years ago.  This is because I’ve relaxed my own healthy habits.  It has nothing to do with my actual ability to regain that physical condition.

A few words about “need”

When people say “Chris, you don’t need to lose weight”, I reframe their comment so they understand where I’m coming from.  I focus on the word “need”.  I often say to them that I don’t “need” to get regular haircuts, and I don’t “need” to exercise.  I don’t “need” to eat healthy.  I don’t “need” to be productive each day.  Instead, I could just let my hair grow to the floor, never shave or bathe, eat garbage food, sit on the coach and expand my waist.

Start thinking about what you want rather than what you need.

My motto is to constantly be improving.  I like to push myself in a healthy and fun way.  The result of this, from a physical perspective, is that I feel proud when I look in the mirror.  My wife tells me I look great.  I feel better.  I feel energetic after running up the stairs.  It’s a nice feeling.  I still have that feeling today, but it’s not as strong as it was a few years ago.

Setting an example for the kids

It’s also important to set a great example of health for your kids.  So with that in mind, I felt like writing this post to describe how I plan to accomplish my goal of getting back to 160 lbs (and regaining the full six-pack), while involving my kids.

I’ll be eating more fruit and vegetables. My kids will see this and I’ll make sure to point out to them why I’m eating these things as snacks between meals, etc.  My plan is to consume 6 cups of fruit and vegetables (combined).

When I say “cup”, I mean approximately a serving.  So if I eat an apple, that’s a cup.  Same with a banana, a pear, a couple of kiwis, a couple slices of cantaloupe, or a handful of strawberries.  Fruit is a fantastic source of nutrients, fiber, and water.  I always feel refreshed after eating fruit.
I’ll be stretching and breathing every evening. This will happen after dinner, and before we put the kids to sleep.  I used to do this with my oldest daughter, before we had the second.  I’d like to re-introduce this habit into our lives.  The kids like to copy me, so I’ll simply have them copy me doing stretches and some deep breathing.  It’s very relaxing before bedtime.

I’ll start acting more like a kid. Isn’t it funny how kids are so thin, yet adults build up all that excess body fat?  Did you ever notice that kids actually move around more?  Gee, you think this might be connected?  I’ve fallen into the trap of sitting on my behind more often.  I sit on the couch and drink coffee on a Saturday morning.  I tell myself “I’m still tired”.  I use it as an excuse to stay seated.  No more.  I’m going to go back to being a kid.  That means playing with the kids, just like I’m one of them.  It’s way more fun and it’s much healthier.

Target:  4 weeks

These changes, and a slightly more rigorous workout routine, will probably result in my goal being achieved within about 4 weeks.  That’s October 20th or so.  When I hit my goal you can expect me to make another blog post about it, or to at least come back and comment under this post.

Stay healthy and enjoy your children,
Chris Thompson

During the summer we tend to spend as much time as possible in the water.  We love swimming in our family.  I am a self-admitted “big kid”.  I like to play games and goof around.  Toys that  help you soak someone else with water are always fun!

Check this out:  I found a toy called Geyser Gushers at my local toy store.  That link is straigth to Amazon, where they are also available.  This toy reminds me of one of those orange construction pylons.  It is c0ne-shaped with a 1″ diameter hole at the top, and it has handles at the wide part of the cone so you can hold it.  If you learn how to use it properly, you can shoot a HUGE 1″ jet of water about 30 feet.  You’ll soak anyone around you.  What an awesome toy for the pool or the beach.

I’m thinking there *has* to be an easy way to make these at home using some kind of stiff plastic.  But I haven’t figured out how to do it quite yet.  If I can’t make my own, I’m going to buy these for the next time we take the kids away for a sunny vacation in the middle of winter.

I’ve heard plenty of parents complain, “My toddler won’t nap!”  What’s a parent to do in this situation?

I bet that when your toddler was an infant he did nap.  All infants nap.  So at some point the napping stopped.  If your toddler was napping regularly until about the age of 3, then it’s possible they’ve grown out of their need for a nap. Often it’s the parents who want the kids to continue napping so they get some extra child-free time. If that is your situation, I suggest you replace “nap time” with “quiet time”.  We did this in our house and it worked beautifully.  Just allow your toddler to play quietly or perhaps watch a children’s DVD while sitting on the couch with his comfort objects (blanket, stuffed animals, etc).  This will give your toddler a much needed rest.  It’s the next best thing to a nap for the parent also.

For those of you saying, “My toddler won’t nap and he still needs a nap!”, let’s analyze this scenario.  Most likely what has happened is your toddler has come to the conclusion that he’s missing out on something.  So nap time now has a negative association.  I highly recommend creating a new positive association to napping by discussing, with your toddler, what you’ll do after the nap is over.  Always schedule something fun that you can have your toddler look forward to.  This will re-build a positive association to the nap.  Remember, behavior is driven by emotion.  If your toddler has a new negative emotion regarding naps, he won’t want to nap.  So it’s your job to make turn the nap into something positive.  Giving your toddler something to look forward to after the nap is one way to accomplish this.

In my talking to toddlers audio course, I teach parents how to get their toddlers to cooperate by using language techniques.  Get your free audio lesson.

Enjoy your children,

Chris Thompson

When my wife and I take the kids for a day in the sun, we always put sunscreen on ourselves and on the kids.  We are not paranoid about the sun like some people.  We believe sun is entirely healthy.  But there are safe limits to everything, and the positive impact of Vitamin D production is easily offset if you burn your skin.

So how do you get sunscreen on your wiggle-worm kids?  Michelle has a fantastic idea.  She wrote about her idea on her blog. The concept is to put goggles on the kids first, and then spray them head to toe.  Awesome idea!  I’ll have to take her advice.

Enjoy your children,

Chris Thompson

It’s really not that strange to discover that your preschooler won’t listen to you when  you’re asking him or her to do something, or to stop doing something, or to simply pay attention to you.  So what’s the fundamental problem?  Usually it comes down to entering your child’s world.

If your preschooler won’t listen and you’d like to change this behavior, then you need to learn how to build instant rapport with your child.  Instead of barking orders, start with a question that you know will engage and interest your preschooler.  Then subtly shift the discussion towards your request.

Kids react to emotional states the same way adults do.  If your preschooler won’t listen to you when you ask him to clean up his toys, it’s probably because he associates the clean up ritual to the end of having fun, or to the start of something unpleasant (such as having to go to bed).  Parents need to replace the unpleasant association with something the child looks forward to.  If clean up time is always followed by bedtime, and your preschooler doesn’t like bedtime, then it’s no wonder your preschooler won’t listen to you!

For more detailed strategies to overcome this, sign up for a free audio lesson. You can also head on over to learn more about my Talking to Toddlers Audio Course.

I’ve always been a lover of juices.  Orange juice has long been my favorite, and I’m a huge fan of grape juice, apple juice, pineapple juice, etc.  When I was a kid I’d guzzle the stuff by the large glassful, and as a teenager and adult I never thought it was “bad”.  I knew it was a bad idea to drink soda, or “fruit drink”, which is fake juice, but I did not think that 100% natural fruit juice could be bad.

It turns out I was wrong.  Not because fruit juice is bad, but because drinking too much of it is bad. Even though the sugar in fruit juice is “natural”, it’s still sugar.  Too much sugar leads to obesity in children.

I’d like to offer you a few simple suggestions to reduce the amount of juice that your kids drink.

1. Keep lots of fresh fruit in the house, and eat fruit instead of drinking juice.  You’ll get more of the natural ingredients from the fruit and less total sugar.  An orange is refreshing.  A glass of orange juice is made from several oranges! Less is more here.
2. When your kids absolutely insist on juice and you can’t seem to talk them down, dilute it with water.  We often dilute our kids’ juice so it’s a 50/50 blend of water and juice.
3. Try this amazing and delicious replacement for juice.  I made this one day for myself and absolutely loved it, so I wanted to share.  Take a large glass and drop in a few ice cubes.  Then add orange juice so the glass is 1/4 full.  Now, squeeze in a good teaspoon of lemon juice.  This jazzes up the flavor a bit.  Finally, fill up the remaining space (3/4 of the glass) with water. Stir and enjoy. Tell your kids you are making them a special treat. You’ll be keeping the sugar away, and they will love it.

I’m not telling you that fruit juice is bad.  Instead, I’m simply saying too much of it is unhealthy.  We limit our kids to one glass of juice per day now, and they can eat an unlimited amount of fruit, drink as much water as they want, and I’ll offer up my own recipe of highly diluted juice (shared above).

That’s all I wanted to say for now.  Reducing sugar consumption is an important part of your family’s health.  Take it seriously.

Enjoy your children!

The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman is designed for parents dealing with difficult children from about the age of 6 through the teens.  I recommend it to my readers since it complements my audio course.

Wow – it’s hard to believe I’ve already reviewed lessons 1 through 6.    Lesson 7 will help you to stop the bad behavior dead in its tracks and hopefully provide a conclusion to all of the techniques you have gained throughout this audio course.

James Lehman refers to this chapter as the “Trigger Management Process”.  What causes our thoughts to trigger the feelings we feel, like fear, anger, and hurt?  These feelings are what ultimately cause your child to act abusively or disrespectfully.

You are probably wondering how the heck you are going to identify what triggers your child’s bad behavior.  Fear not – the first thing you will want to do is to “diminish the potential”.  Keep your children away from things that are going to get them heated.

You will need to “manage the situation”.  The parent is responsible to teach their child how to get out of tough situations should they get into one.  Lehman recommends taking a time out or chilling out by listening to music and so on.

You will learn to teach your child how to evaluate on their own whether they want to react negatively to a situation.  A child will be able to decide for his or herself if behaving badly is worth it.

Always remember to have an open dialogue at home and at school.  Authoritative figures should be made aware that the child is learning new coping strategies to avoid negative outbursts.

This lesson gives you the tools necessary to identify the nature of the “triggers” and help your child to learn to manage them.   Now it is your responsibility to take these techniques and implement them.  Good luck!

Continue reading my review of the Total Transformation Program.

Listen to audio samples of the Total Transformation Program.

This morning I was reading an article about customer service.  The author was saying how sick he was of crappy customer service from companies that send out a bunch of form letters (cut & paste type replies) that don’t match his problem.  I know how annoying this is.  That’s why I reply personally, with a real reply, when customers email me with any kind of technical problem, etc.

Say I get an email from a customer.  The email says, “Hi Chris - I just purchased the audio course yesterday and I didn’t have time to download it.  Now my link has expired.  What can I do?”.

When I get that email I will write back to make sure the customer knows these things:

1) I tell them that I understand the problem.  I explain that the links automatically expire after 24 hours. This helps prevent digital theft.

2) I tell them I am going to reset their link immediately.

3) I tell the customer that I’m there to help, and that I’m not going to leave them hanging.

This kind of personal treatment makes customers feel good about doing business with me.  I know this because of how many replies I get thanking me for the quick and helpful replies.

So how is this connected with parenting?

Imagine if your toddler or young child tells you they are hungry.  The “stock answer” that many parents will give is, “Oh, I’ll feed you lunch when we get home”.  Then you get a tantrum, or fussy behavior, etc.

What if you took on a “customer service” role instead.  You might enter your child’s world (as I teach in the free audio lesson).  You might say, “I understand you are hungry, and I’m going to help you”.  You might then explain the facts if your child is old enough to understand.  You can say, “We don’t have any food here.  But I know we have food at home.  Would you like to eat a snack as soon as we get home?  I can take you there very soon if you are really hungry”.

My audio course has plenty of techniques to help with this type of situation.  But if you were to just avoid using “stock answers”,which are a parent’s lazy solution to a problem, then you’ll get better results more often.  Try it and you’ll see.  When your child sees that you are there to help, they behave differently.

Click here to get more information about how to deal with toddlers

Readers of this blog know that I offer an audio program for dealing with toddlers.  Many readers also have older kids, which is not where my product is targeted.  For older kids I recommend The Total Transformation Program.  It is an amazing system to help you deal with your troubled children.  Here is my review of Lesson 6.

Lesson 6 of The Total Transformation Program is all about problem solving.  Parents and children will work together to figure out their reasons for lashing out by confronting the inappropriate behavior.  Next, you will determine how best to react to future problems by coming up with an agreed-upon alternative behavior.  James Lehman breaks down these problem-solving techniques into 8 straight-forward steps.

The first and most crucial step is to “investigate.”  It is the parents’ responsibility to understand the child and to understand what motivates his or her bad behavior.  This can be done by walking your child through a series of simple questions, like “What was going on just before you got upset?”

Parents need to “confront” their child’s behavior.  In doing this, the parent must remain on a facts-only basis and not interject any feelings, blame, or emotion.  State the behavior you saw.  By sticking to the facts you’ll find it’s much easier to deal with the problem and come to a solution.

Always remember to “challenge” your child’s reactions.  Be sure to tell your kids that excuses don’t justify bad behavior, for example “even though you broke up with your boyfriend that’s no excuse for you to be yelling at everyone in the house.”

Be sure to follow up with “consequences” for the child’s negative behavior.  These consequences should involve a task and be done in a specified amount of time.  Make sure they are clear and are linked to the bad behavior.

I have briefly described a few of the steps needed to reshape your child’s behavior.  Lesson 6 explores all eight steps in more detail.  Be sure to listen to the audio track carefully and follow all of Lehman’s homework assignments for best results.

Continue reading my review of the Total Transformation Program.

Listen to audio samples of the Total Transformation Program.