1-    WHAT FORM SHOULD ISLAMIC MARRIAGE TAKE?

ADNAN OKTAR’S LIVE INTERVIEW ON EKIN TV (2 February 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR: …marriage is built on pure love. You love that person as a manifestation of Allah. And your sole aim is to protect that person entrusted to you by Allah and permit them to live under the best possible conditions, regarding them as a partner, a brother or even, in one way, as one’s child.

ADNAN OKTAR: : It must be founded on pure love. One must intend to see a manifestation of Allah. People get married to experience passion. People get married to experience that delightful feeling, that feeling of depth, bestowed by Allah, in order to serve Allah together and to earn His approval. A person is loved as a manifestation of Allah. Otherwise we are looking at a very peculiar repulsion, may Allah forbid.

2-    MARRIAGE MUST BE SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF ATTAINING ALLAH’S APPROVAL

ADNAN OKTAR’S KANAL 35 (IZMIR) INTERVIEW (21 February 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR: In other words, if Allah’s approval is lacking, if one does not love a woman as a manifestation of Allah and thinks only of oneself, I would be repelled by such a woman, I mean she would be repulsive to me. I would find no depth there, no passion, affection or beauty, and that would disgust me. I could not think of such a thing. There can be no question of such things making any rational person happy.
Because when one respects and values the other person, that has an effect on a person. Someone whom one does not respect or value becomes utterly repellent. One might as well enter into a relationship with an ape as with them. It is out of the question. That passion in a woman and the effect in the soul that stems from valuing her very highly is sexuality. That is what we call it.  You value her very highly, you take her really, really seriously, she is very special to you, very great in your eyes, splendid and sacred, immaculate. She belongs to you. You are certain of her chastity. This then sparks off and magnifies this intensity in the soul.
But if that is lacking, it is all empty. Allah will in any case not bestow that strength. That part of society is already sick. They are unable to delight in women, so that is why they take drugs. I don’t know what drugs. It is not something that drugs can help. It is something to be resolved with passion. This is a powerful force that Allah reflects in people’s souls. And that is how it is in Paradise. I mean, there will also be a powerful passion in people’s souls in Paradise. We call this sexuality. But just to do it like animals, that is disgusting and repellent. That is something else entirely.

ADNAN OKTAR’S LIVE INTERVIEW ON TEMPO TV (3 February 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR : … if someone is very honest and rational Allah will bestow abundance on him and straighten his path, and will show him to you as someone in whose destiny everything is for the best. In other words, obtaining a woman is not like getting a pear from the greengrocer’s. There are such types, of course. They say how they have cars and houses, just like wholesale dealers. They say they own this and that, and in return they want to marry such and such a kind of woman. That is dreadful. It is dreadful for it to be done before the eyes of the world. That is horrible. Like buying a slave. There is a difference between looking for a manifestation of Allah to love with all your heart and turning up and saying you want to swap a trailer for someone. There is a huge difference. That is really repulsive and horrible.  One gets married in order to see a manifestation of Allah and delights in a manifestation of Allah. And this is done solely for Allah’s approval. One experiences the excitement of seeing the face of Allah, a manifestation of Allah. Allah has already prepared the groundwork for this. It exists in destiny. One meets a woman in one’s destiny. Otherwise there can be no question of a person deciding for himself what is to happen. A believer has to await whatever is for the best from Allah. Allah will produce that person when the climate is right, when the conditions are appropriate, and that is for the best. A Muslim has to expect that Allah will do what is best for him. There can be no question of demanding what one wants right away.

3-    THE IDEA OF LOVE AND MARRIAGE IN PRESENT-DAY SOCIETY

ADNAN OKTAR’S LIVE INTERVIEW ON TEMPO TV (3 February 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR: What I have seen in many cases is this; women first begin feeling a powerful love when they first see the model of car. What I hear is that if the car is a very expensive one, they begin feeling a very powerful love. If the car is a very expensive model, that love spreads everywhere. If one’s clothes are very expensive, if one has been to a good school, if one’s father is rich, then that love dazzles them and they become ready to do anything. That is what I hear. Then at a later time the person says that his father has gone bankrupt and that he is also going bust because of the economic crisis. A light then goes out in the woman’s head and that love vanishes instantaneously. All the remains is someone she now hates, and the love turns into disgust and anger. This is a punishment bestowed by Allah. It is a great humiliation. But if one loves for Allah’s sake it makes no difference if one loses one’s job or one’s factory. If such things come one regards them as blessings from Allah, and if they go one regards them as also being for the best, as coming from Allah, and it has no impact on one.  But children are wrongly educated from a very early age. I see mothers whose daughters’ hands have been sought by doctors or engineers and who have made their daughters marry them against their will. It is embarrassing even to speak of. If they said that they married their daughters of in that way because nobody with taqwa, no rational people, had wanted to marry them, then there would be a kind of logic in that. It would still be wrong, because if you see a rational person you will give your daughter to him, but they talk about doctors and engineers, people who will bring in good money, with enormous pride and vanity. And many of the people who hear them will appreciate the sentiment and say how right they are. This is a terrible disgrace, something really ugly. It means treating that young girl like a slave, and that is totally unacceptable. Because that is how young girls are always brought up, most of them tend to want such wealthy people for their own children. It makes no difference to them if the person is flawed or psychopathic. That spouse may beat, swear at and humiliate their child, and all they say is that he is her husband and it is quite normal for him to beat her.  The man may throw their daughter out onto the street, but they still welcome him back, saying there must have been a misunderstanding, and so the disgrace continues. So many women are oppressed but still encouraged by their families and friends to put up with these people, even though they disgust them, because they are their husband and the father of their children. They say they have to put up with it, that it is all perfectly normal, and that one of their friends puts up with the same treatment and she should take that person as a role model. They say her own father is the same and that she used to put up with him. In other words, some people give their children a totally warped education. These things are wrong. True love, love for the sake of Allah, burns like a flame in a woman’s heart, gives ineffable delight and is truly lovely for the woman. It is an intense feeling that also has a powerful effect on the man. It is an enormous pleasure. But instead of that true delight, some people prefer to go for material things and drown in that suffering and filth. They have to stay with someone who disgusts them and suffer for the rest of their lives. Because such men hate moral virtue, hate strength of character, constantly lie and insult the woman, impugning her honor, making their lack of love perfectly clear from their words and facial expression, all their love being placed in their goods and possessions.  They grow proud and obstinate and do not recognize the woman’s worth. So many fine women waste their lives in this way. And their children. I have known many fine women. But when I have seen them again years later, their hands and faces are all worn and they are in a terrible state. Regret has caused them to lose all their humanity. They have been ruined and their youth has been squandered in that way. That precious quality in their souls disappears, and that depth of soul of theirs is wasted, and that is a terrible shame. That is why the finest measure is to seek love in harmony with the measure set by Allah, to seek that delightful manifestation of Allah, to be genuine and honest, and to fear and love Allah. One must know that the deep delight and astounding pleasure this imparts will be bestowed as a blessing from Allah.  There is a profound miracle unique to Muslims, unique to those who truly fear Allah. Few people are aware of it. And they live within this scourge because they are unaware of it. If they knew about it, they might not go down that other path for all the world. If they knew what a delight and joy living with true faith was, they would attach no importance to factories, or cars or anything else. But they are unaware of it.

ADNAN OKTAR’S INTERVIEW FOR KANAL 35 (IZMIR) (21 February 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR: Hatred appears on the first night. The very first night.
But in order to avoid embarrassment and because there is now an economic alliance, because the bride and the groom’s families are wealthy, they are unwilling to bring the family business down. In other words, they have founded a company rather than embarked on a marriage. They first ask, and I have seen this myself, whether the other person has his own home and a car. As if they are setting up a business partnership. What kind of love or conception is that? How much money do you earn? That is the first thing they ask. They get right down to business after learning someone’s surname. What has that to do with marriage, this business, this personal gain, this idea of personal advantage? It is a terrible thing, and what kind of love can there be in it?

I see it sometimes. They may pretend to be laughing and joyful. They may seem to smile, but how embarrassing and degrading it is to do that and play such games for the sake of money.  Since it is impossible to deceive someone who knows they are not really loved, it means a lifetime of sorrow.

What need is there for such a parody, for such a disgrace? A person is loved for the sake of Allah. They are loved as a manifestation of Allah, and there is a great and profound delight in that. It is a force that never ends. Allah has bestowed such a depth on almost all women. In other words, if a woman is given this, meaning passion, love, depth and loyalty, she will turn into an unbelievable entity. That woman will disappear, to be replaced by a superhuman entity. All that beauty, depth and passion in her soul begin coming to the surface.

It will treat her, and her hormones will work fine, and her body will return to normal. Her brain will resume functioning normally. Her skin will improve, her eyes will be brighter and her speech will improve. It will affect her hair. She will become a totally different person. The reason why most women lose their beauty and fade is psychological. Lack of true love inflicts terrible damage on a woman.

For example, I see young women who look very old. That stems from suffering and from lack of love. Love makes a woman beautiful, it beautifies her passion. But they collapse unbelievably fast when it is absent.

For example, a beautiful young girl gets married. When I see her in a couple of years’ time she is an old woman, she has collapsed and been totally ruined. The reason is that lack of love has damaged the cells of her body. Because the body’s cells are created together with love. Even the eyes understand about love. The eye assumes a totally different form in the presence of love. One’s voice becomes totally different.  The voice of someone who loves is very different to that of someone who does not. The kind of music someone who loves enjoys is very different to that which pleases someone who does not. Everything is different. All the body’s functions are affected. That applies to both men and women.

ADNAN OKTAR’S LIVE INTERVIEW ON KRAL KARADENIZ TV (30 January 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR: The truth of the matter is that there is a huge stage play going on. There are many players, and various plays are being acted out. This is not right. But the curtain will be brought down in the time of Hazrat Mahdi (as) in the End Times, and people will become real human beings, will approach one another with real love, and will exhibit true moral virtue and show their real faces. The masks will all be lifted. Most people are wandering around in masks these days. But these masks will be lifted. People are unhappy because of these masks. When I go out I see how most people are unsmiling and unhappy. Because they just see masks. People like real people. People like genuine faces. Masks make people really uneasy. Falsity makes people uneasy.

ADNAN OKTAR’S LIVE INTERVIEW ON TEMPO TV (17 February 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR: I do see a lot of married women, I hear about them, they are extremely troubled, I mean their faces are down, pulled as long as a fiddle. Having affray every day even if it is not that big, they don’t even want their husbands to come back home.  For example sometimes when people working outside their houses get retired, their spouses do not want them to stay at home, I mean the women want their spouses to be outside the house, I hear that a lot.  What does this mean? This is clearly the other name of hatred.  If a person loves another, that person wants every second, every minute of their time to be with that person they love. That is because they can’t have enough of them. But if she hates that person, then she would continuously tell the man to go out, to go to the café.  Or if the retired one is the woman, their spouses cannot tolerate their wives to be retired as well, they would suggest the wives to go out, they would say “go and play cards with your friends, go to that gathering”. This is a professed demonstration of hatred.  This is very very ugly. Anyhow when they do come together, the fight starts instantly. I hear this from people outside all the time, I mean I get that from so many people.  There are also very funny incidents that I hear in this respect, very amazing incidents.  That is to say they carry on their marriage as a form of a habit.  I mean it is as if they are doomed, I mean lots of women stay married because they cannot work outside. That is to say they do not have any other source of money.  I have seen a pregnant woman on the tv recently, who was beaten tragically, she was   admitted to the hospital almost in a comatose state, she was at risk of a miscarriage. She was asked if she would be complainant, and she said that she would not be because she had no-one else to look after her, because she had no-one else to look after her children. She said she will tolerate him just because of financial interest.  I mean that man had beaten his wife even though she was pregnant, she destroyed her face. It is possible that he had even hit her belly, he had hit every part of her body.  I mean it is apparent how the environment is. And still that woman turns back to that house. That is one of the tragic features of the End of Times, I mean this is one of the most anguishing events.  Whereas a Muslim woman only gets married for the approval of Allah, only marries if that is where she can gain the approval of Allah the most.  Except for that, such events develop, and these are of course formidable, they are very, very bad of course.

4-    MALE-FEMALE RELATIONS IN TODAY’S SOCIETY

ADNAN OKTAR: There is a real flower, for example there is a violet, and a real violet. And there is plastic violet that is sold, one made of plastic. People in most places are using the artificial one these days. I mean they are trying to imitate the real violet. They are trying to do things resembling love in the manner of a stage actor. But the person he is speaking about immediately sees through this. When he asks why he is loved, the answer is for his car, for his home or for his looks. So there is clearly nothing resembling true love at all in that. Obviously, if anything happens to his good looks the other person will disappear.  So what is the point of games? But that is how they deceive some poor people. And the other party believes it. That poor person is deceived and thinks he is loved for his own sake, and one day he hopes he will discover himself. And that cunning person realizes that and approaches the other person from his or her blind side, saying that this is very meaningful and the first time they have discovered love. The other person literally becomes hypnotized. And they then do whatever the other person says. Some women are cunning like that. They wrap themselves round one, and sometimes make use of the family, too, acting in an organized manner. That poor person literally becomes their…

REPORTER: Prisoner.

ADNAN OKTAR: Yes, prisoner. One also sees that with men. A young girl is rich, but physically unattractive. One often sees that. There was a case just recently of some famous person with a daughter who is very unattractive.  That is how Allah created her. And she was no that striking in terms of culture and personality. All she had was her money. And this person spoke to the press in unbelievable language, saying he had tasted love for the first time with her.  Everyone was laughing up their sleeve. It was so obviously a lie. But he had obviously planned to pull the wool over her eyes and eventually lay hands on all her money. That is truly horrible and disgraceful behavior unbefitting a human being.  But if that girl has good taqwa and good moral virtues, even though she is physically unremarkable, Allah will make her seen beautiful to that other person. Because a great majesty will arise, in other words, an amazing power will emerge, and what is unremarkable will be transformed into great beauty. Because intelligence makes people beautiful. Passion makes people beautiful. That deep power in the soul comes to the surface and then the other things are just flesh. Like when they slaughter a cow at the butchers and hang it on hooks. It is just flesh. There is no difference. People can deepen themselves with love, taqwa and love of Allah. And thus they can bring out that great power that Allah conceals within them. And this comes out as a miracle. I call it a kind of sixth sense. This is not something that someone who has not experienced it can understand. People must be genuine in their love for one another, and must look for true intellect and for the real person.

ADNAN OKTAR’S LIVE INTERVIEW ON TEMPO TV (28 January 2009)