Online Bingo for US and UK players gain new players because of worldwide shortage of Bingo Balls. Demos on the streets of America and UK. Chinese production of Bingo Balls falls dramatically. UK and USA Bingo giants make drastic cuts in opening hours. Online bingo operators maintain deposit bonuses at 200%. UK and USA bingo players suffering from A1B1 syndrome. Cash Money Jackpots from online internet bingo operators likely to increase.
America is to break off diplomatic relations with the UK after the British government did what appears to be a shady deal with Iran by selling them Wales. The deal which is said to be worth around a warehouse stockpiled with bingo balls, which the Iranians had always said they didn't have, plus some cash. A government spokesman had this say. "Everyone in the UK has been affected by the world shortage of bingo balls and the dire consequences that followed. We have been seeing rioting, looting and severe A1B1 syndrome epidemics. This deal will allow UK bingo to return to normal and secure bingo ball supplies for well into 2010. We fully expect that A1B1 in this country is at an end." He also pointed out that the selling of countries is outside of any trade embargos.
The US government immediately broke off all diplomatic relations with the UK and the President gave a rushed TV interview to explain the crisis to the American people. In the address he said "We knew it. This time we were right. For once we were damn well right. We knew the Iranians had been stockpiling bingo balls at a time when the whole world was in need. Iran denied it while all the time doing a shady deal with the UK government. Not only that but for the UK to sell Wales, a strong ally and a major supplier of sheep to the US, is nothing short of outrageous."
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Iran allows UN bingo ball inspectors to check bingo ball stock piling site
Iran today agreed to let UN inspectors into Tehran to check the alleged stock pile of bingo balls the United States suspects them of having. In a statement from her penthouse in New York the Iranian ambassador had this to say.
"We have sent a twitter to the United States government agreeing to let UN inspectors inspect the warehouse in question. We can only re-iterate our previous statement that they are not, in fact, bingo balls but colored ping pong balls for use during the forthcoming Middle East Ping Pong Championship due to start next month. We have no fears of an inspection and will welcome the UN inspectors at any time between four and four thirty, next Wednesday."
Spokesman for the US General H.A. Daub dismissed the twitters. "Our spy planes have detected several trucks arriving at the suspected bingo ball warehouse in Las Vegas St. Tehran and it will be very easy to move the stock to another secret location before next Wednesday."
The US are pressing the UN security council to agree to a mandate that insists Iran releases the alleged stock pile of bingo balls onto the markets and avert the ever increasing possibility of a worldwide outbreak of A1B1 (nobingo) syndrome which would cause immense damage to the west.
For all table tennis fans we can confirm that all the games and excitement from the 22nd Middle East Ping Pong Championships can be exclusively seen on Star Sports unless the US enforces the ping pong bat embargo.
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Celebrities to stage charity concert for A1B1 victims. Online Bingo to fund.
A concert for A1B1 (nobingo) syndrome sufferers, now nearly numbering double figures, is to be arranged next week sponsored by the big three online bingo operators. A spokesman for BIMGO (Bingo Is My Game OK) was overjoyed. “It really shows how human these rich celebrities are most of whom don’t even play bingo.”
The concert to be held at Hyde Park in London is expected to be a sell out with all the major pop stars and bands performing including but not confirmed the recently reformed group Brotherhood of Man. There were even rumors that the Beatles would get together for one more time but this was denied by the two surviving band members. However it has been confirmed that there will be a Christmas Single release which already has a title “Let It Be Bingo”
Online bingo operators denied they were cashing in on the current world bingo ball shortage crisis although sign ups have increased dramatically and said that the 200% first deposit bonus to all concert goers also applied to anyone in the world. “All anyone has to do is sign up, make a deposit and we’ll give them a 200% bonus, free, gratis, no strings, for sure.”
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